Ten Easy Steps for Having a Romantic, Post-Work Cherry Blossom Date
1. Forget how much of a pain in the ass the ordeal was last year.
2. Leave work later than planned. Know this 15 minutes will irrevocably damage the entire evening’s schedule.
3. Scratch earlier plans to prepare a chic Mediterranean spread or a sumptuous Parisian picnic. Instead, dash into Popeyes and point to the first pile of chicken and carbohydrates you see on the board.
4. Meet Significant Other at work, who is also now running late. Know that this additional 15-minute delay means any cherry blossoms will be viewed for roughly five minutes in the daylight.
5. Jam onto the Metro with a bunch of cranky natives and slogging tourists. Dither over whether it’s the Federal Triangle exit or the Federal Center exit.
6. Delight in remembering that it is Federal Triangle exit that’s closest, which is the one you got off at. This is great because you now only have approximately three miles to walk to see the *$ cherry blossoms.
7. Scramble across the Mall as the sun sets, lugging the Popeyes, and wonder what in the heck Tom Cavanagh of "Ed” fame is doing with a bunch of other ironic T-shirt wearing hipsters standing around hugging each other off to the side of the Washington Monument. (For reals!)
8. Wonder how in the heck the Significant Other actually remembered that the dude’s name is Tom Cavanagh when the best you could muster was an elbow jab to his ribs and a muttered “HeyitsthatdudefromEd.”
9. Finally arrive at suitable picnic spot. Spread the blanket, tuck into the beans and biscuits, laugh as the petals landing in the dinner and your hair, and glower at the idiots yanking on the branches for their photos.
10. Lean back on elbows, take in the pale, puffy pinkness of the Tidal Basin as the day’s light fades, and forget how much of a pain in the ass this whole ordeal has been.