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Friday, February 09, 2007

It's Hallmark of Fatuousness Award Day

The Sorority Sniper

If you want to let the general populous know that you’ve got very little in your arsenal when it comes to commenting on a woman’s character, personality, talent, and intellect, then slam her for being in a sorority. Because nothing says, “I’ve got zilch as a societal observer or writer,” like “I hate sorority chicks.” You know who was in a sorority? Harper Lee, Joan Didion, Dian Fossey, Rosa Parks, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Sandra Day O’Connor, Mae Jemison, Coretta Scott King, and Georgia O’Keeffe. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: bashing a group based on the conception you've mentally whipped up for yourself of a certain type of female only makes one person in the room look like her slip is showing.

Trust me this week’s Hallmark of Fatuousness honoree, you’re not alone. I’m always puzzled by the number of people who feel it is socially appropriate to arrange their facial features into a look as if I’ve just waved a vial of skunk funk under their nose and exclaim in a disgusted tone that’s light on the politeness and heavy on the ignorance: “You were in a sororrrity?! Oh god, I never would have guessed that about you. Whyyyyy?!” In my conversations with former members of collegiate athletic teams, newspaper staffs, indie bands, film schoolers, College Democrats, College Republicans, minority student unions, glee clubs, chess clubs, and Magic the Gathering clubs, I’ve never once found anyone who says they receive this same reception with such stunning regularity.* And (deep sigh), please don’t tell me that you didn’t join a sorority because you didn’t need to buy your friends, because I’ll put your bar tab from college up against my sorority dues receipt any time.

*Fellowship of Christian Athletes alum may be the exception to this, but the ignorami usually at least keep their mouths shut to these folks’ faces.

Editor’s note: Lest you think the Hallmark Committee is a tad on the cranky or defensive side, don’t worry. It will also bestow the Hallmark of Intelligence, Humor, and SoForth awards, too. But let’s be honest, you don’t come here to read about the planes that land safely at the airport.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Big Brother said...

Spot on! I cannot stand when people apply clichés and stereotypes to a whole group. Except for when it comes to frat boys, those guys really are a bunch of testosterone laden lunk heads.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous MN transplant said...

Wow I never would have guessed you were in a sorority! You are full of suprises. Next you will be telling us you are a member of LNS.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous MN transplant said...

my first comment and I spell surprises wrong!

2:37 PM  
Blogger regs said...

Wow, I’m sure you let her hold it. Funny I was just thinking of a sorority topic for your blog as I attended a founder’s day luncheon here at one of the snotty country clubs. A place where a single woman is not permitted to join, only married women whose membership can be listed under their husband’s name. If they divorce, the woman is no longer a member regardless of the reasons behind the divorce. Doesn’t that sounds like something you would like to spend a ridiculous percentage of your income on? I’m sure the founders would have been delighted with this choice for a founder’s day celebration given their accomplishments in a time when few women were permitted to even attend college. The difference in the alumni at this club versus the one in DC was shocking…I only met one other person who worked full time for something other than the Junior League. And I’m not kidding.

Also joining up with some SS for beer golf Sat night...should be fun although I’m definitely out of practice. I hope we won’t have some BB type who will win one hole and then proceed to pick a nice thick “real” beer for the next one.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Libba said...

Woo-hoo! I'm done with across-the board sorority-haters, too. When I'm met with "I can't believe YOU were in a SORORITY! Ewww!" I'm all back up in their faces with "Yeah, and I was rush chairman AND pledge trainer!"

3:52 PM  
Blogger honeykbee said...

Brilliant post!

Confession: I was standards chairperson. For about forty five seconds. You probably don't even want to know.

Hey, where's WTHUF?

3:59 PM  
Anonymous etcetera said...

hey, what happened to the comment i wrote about the stereotyping and abuse i endured as an NCAA varsity athlete for 4 years? did you delete it b/c you think i'm a dumb jock?

fyi, for a solid 5 semesters i would shower and put on clean clothes after morning practice before going to class. but those last three semesters, i just let myself go. whats the point? the next practice is only 6 hours away? sorry, professor johnson...

4:37 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Big Bro- Yeah, we'll they're just asking for it. ;-)

MNTransplant- I'm intrigued. Have we met? And don't worry about the typo. Happens to the best of us.

Regs- Yeesh. Was the Founder's Day event being held at the Stepford Country Club? Blech. Please dear god make sure you do some texting late in the round.

Libba and HoneyKBee- It is like a confessional up in here today. Libba, I don't even want to think about the reign of terror that must have been your time in those two positions. ;-) HoneyK, 45 seconds? I think that's a record. Did you like, pee on your chapter room rug? (That rug really tied the room together.) Oh, and WTHUF is on hiatus. I was starting to think that people probably got the picture and might have been getting bored with it.

By the way ladies, feel free to represent with your affiliations if you want to let them fly. HoneyK, I'm guessing based on the term "standards chair," you might be on my and Regs' team, or maybe that's just a universal Greek term for "the one who busts the drunkies."

5:03 PM  
Anonymous MN Transplant said...

I don't think that we have met. I am probably just using the name of another unoriginal person from MN who frequents the DC blogs.

5:40 PM  
Anonymous rcr said...

Ooooh, I loved the girls that were on probation. Might as well have tattooed easy on her forehead.

As a UVa alum, I constantly correct people. "I wasn't in a frat, I was in a fraternity."

5:58 PM  
Blogger Blonde Belle said...

I never understood the immediate negative response to a being a sorority member either. Oh, and just how many people have you met that were in Magic the Gathering clubs? I feel left out for not meeting this rare breed...

I was the president of my chapter... meaning I had to also sit on the standards board. Honeykbee, be glad the pain only lasted 45 seconds! :)

10:24 PM  

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