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Friday, February 02, 2007

The Hallmark of Fatuousness Award

The Black History Month Detractor

Are you honestly a grown man trying to engage me in a debate about Black History Month by saying "Well, why don't we have a White History Month?" Having to watch a 30-second PSA about Rosa Parks or Miles Davis bothers you that much? Look. I appreciate that you've stayed loyal to the Lil' Stinker's Handbook of White Paranoid Delusions (with new forward by Lou Dobbs!) that you've been toting around since you became politically conscious at age 15. But I've got to tell you, this argument is about as fresh as zinging me with "You are the weakest link. Goodbye." The answer is that we don't have a White History Month because we have mandatory elementary, middle, and high school curricula that focus on the history of whites, including some whites' nasty habit of a few hundred years and counting now of erradicating, enslaving, oppressing, or disenfranchising minorities. So no, there's not really a White History Month in this country. It's been more like White History 15th Century to the Present.

Although history will record sir that your argument incited the first Hallmark of Fatuousness award. Better stay on your toes though, or a black person might steal the next one.


Blogger I-66 said...

I'm against the whole "People's History Month" concept because to me it feels contrived and I don't like being told "okay, this month we celebrate this people's history, and next month another..." If I'm going to celebrate someone's history I'll do it when I please. I won't even make a "why is it the shortest month of the year" joke. Instead I'll give you some little known history month facts (which I actually owe to Jamy from a way back blog post)...

Women's History Month: March
Asian Pacific Heritage Month: May
Hispanic Heritage Month: September 15 - October 15

Why they couldn't just make it all of September or all of October I'll never know. I ask, though, why aren't those celebrations of heritage/history crammed down our throats?

1:13 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Just as soon as women do something worthwhile for this country then their month can get the same attention as BHM.

2:02 PM  
Blogger Virgle Kent said...

can I please steal the next one! please please please. You know how us blackies love to steal.

ha ha ha

great post, glad you're back kid

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Libba said...

"...including some whites'nasty habit..."

Or NOT including some nasty habits, depending on where you were educated.

3:20 PM  
Blogger Alejandra said...

Haha...I agree with i-66 on this. I hate history months. And I especially think the half of september/half of october hispanic heritage thing is ridiculous. I also loathe the Puerto Rican Day Parade (and yes, I'm Puerto Rican, so I'm allowed to say that). Actually, I hate parades in general--thanksgiving, st. patrick's, memorial day. Also the circus. And Oreo cookies. And my boss' cell phone ring--not that it's related, but it's currently going off at top volume and makes me want to claw my eyes out...

3:42 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

I don't know about this. Thoughtful responses from a diverse, multi-ethnic commenting body? This post is suddenly in danger of providing informative and insightful context, when really I just wanted to call someone a stooge.

3:56 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Woah woah woah, Puertorriqueña. Oreo cookies?! At least I hope you don't hate Vienna Fingers.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

If you want, for the purposes of detracting from all the ethnic diversity and cultural sensitivity, I can make an ignorant white guy comment to get your post back on it's original track. My heart wouldn't really be in it though.

4:29 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Yeah, no doubt I-66. Alejandra, do you hate freedom and bunnies, too? I bet you do. (snicker, snicker.)

Eric-Please, dear God, it's about time someone started navigating this ship toward the rocky shoals of Boneheaded Argument Land once again.

4:39 PM  
Blogger Ar-Jew-Tino said...

Thank you. I read that yesterday and it infuriated me to the point of silence. I did NOT know how to retort. So, again, thank you.

4:56 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

OOH OOH! Let me!

huhuh, she said bone head...

5:20 PM  
Blogger LMNt said...

Howzabout I take a shot at it:

Can someone explain to me why Steak and Blowjob day was scheduled during Women's History Month? That just seems wrong somehow.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Alejandra said...

I'm on the fence about bunnies. I don't remember what Vienna Fingers taste like, but they remind me of my creepy Austrian piano teacher so I'm going to put those in the no category. I'm also going to throw the movie The Goonies on there...

7:03 PM  
Blogger Static Cling said...

How can you hate the Truffle Shuffle, Alejandra? Seriously.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

I am relieved to see that I am not the lone person on the planet who detests Goonies. As for Vienna Fingers, now those are just plain delicious.

9:03 PM  
Blogger honeykbee said...

HA! You said "grown man"! Good one!

11:03 PM  
Blogger Needtsza said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Need-how come you deleted your comment? I read through it quickly on the way out the door at work and it seemed you were trying to offer context for the argument you're making on your site. I was looking forward to pondering your explanation. (Although I've got to say, what I remember of the comment still doesn't seem to match up with what I'm getting out of your post.) Please feel free to repost.

3:37 AM  
Blogger Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

I am waiting for Take a Prosecutor to Lunch Day.

4:57 AM  

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