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Friday, January 12, 2007

"What was done to me was monstrous." "And they created a monster."

Is that a line from one of the worst movies of 2006, or a telling analysis of what happened to me when sitting through the crudfest that is the list of movies below? Indeed, I'm rarely crankier than when walking out of a movie feeling like I've just gone 10 rounds with idiocy, boredom, or unnecessary excess. In most of these movies the dialogue reeked, the acting was overwrought, or the plot was just zzzzzz... Earlier this week, we debated the Oscar-worthy performances that likely won't get nominated. Today, the films that should get nothing more than a stern wag of the finger from the Academy: the worst films of 2006. Now, clearly, if stuck on a desert island I'd rather watch any of them than say, Aquamarine or You, Me & Dupree, but these were movies that I had high hopes for and left feeling that the $48.93 pricetag on my ticket stung even more than usual. So perhaps the list should officially be called,

The Most Disappointing Films of 2006:

V for Vendetta
Dreamgirls
Art School Confidential
Hard Candy
Who Killed the Electric Car?
Match Point


Yesterday I referenced one of these likely getting an Oscar nod. I'd be willing to bet that Jennifer Hudson will get nominated for her role in Dreamgirls. It's a bum nomination though. She's a tremendous singer and that shows in the movie. But great singers deserve Grammys, not Oscars. This is not to say that I don't think any performers in musicals are ever worthy of Oscars, but you can't convince me that Hudson's overall performance was one of the best five of the year. Incidentally, very few lead actresses in musicals have ever won Oscars, even when their films have captured the top prize, so it's a pretty exclusive sorority to begin with: Liza Minnelli in Cabaret, Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl, and Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins. (Winners Reese Witherspoon and Sissy Spacek did heavy lifting when it came to singing in Walk the Line and Coal Miner's Daughter, respectively, but their movies weren't musicals.)

Congratulations to all the not-going-to-win winners announced throughout the week! Actual Oscar nominations come out on Jan. 23. Prove me wrong, Academy. Prove me wrong.

8 Comments:

Blogger Washington Cube said...

V for Vendetta was a huge disappointment.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't see a single one of the movies on your list. I will now set out to count my blessings. I'll check back with you in a few hours.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Julie Andrews was robbed in 1966 when she didn't win best actress for The Sound of Music.

Best. Movie. Musical. Ever.

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with static cling.
SOM was the best and so was Julie Andrews

3:36 AM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Anon-Me three. Although I'd argue it's not the greatest travesty in Best Actress Oscar history. That honor goes to the boneheads who slighted Bette Davis in 1951 for her performance in All About Eve.

6:09 AM  
Blogger Barzelay said...

Up to today, I was with you. But Match Point was great (although Scarlet Johansson sucked in it). I seriously loved it. I'm a huge fan of Woody Allen and Match Point was my favorite of his since Hannah And Her Sisters. Hard Candy was good but not great, so perhaps you just expected too much? It was a little too obsessed with twists that either weren't really earned, or else were completely obvious, but that was my only complaint: the twists. Overall, it was still a fine way to spend an hour and a half. Art School Confidential had many redeeming qualities along with some crappy ones. It struck an exceedingly weird tone, and didn't explain its characters motivations in any way that was at all convincing. Nevertheless, it was funny, and not that bad. But I can see why this would be on the list. V For Vendetta I thoroughly enjoyed, albeit while longing for the much better dialogue and larger scope of the comic. Again, I can see why someone wouldn't like it, but I did.

I have yet to see the other two, but I suspect that I will agree with you on those. Hyped documentaries are almost never even good, let alone great (for examples of disappointing but hyped documentaries, see An Inconvenient Truth, Super-Size Me, Grizzly Man, Fahrenheit 9/11, The Yes Men, Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room, The Fog Of War, etc.). On the other hand, Spellbound and Capturing The Friedmans were both awesome (particularly the latter). And Dreamgirls, well... just doesn't seem to have the tone that I'm into. But I loved Gods And Monsters and Kinsey was alright, so I'll reserve judgment.

10:44 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Could Rocky Balboa be classified as "disappointing"?

I mean, as soon as you heard it was being made you thought, "this will be a train wreck".

Then the previews came out, and you thought "hmmm..not bad". Reviews came out and they were...good! And you so wanted this movie to be good, because hey, it's Rocky!

Then you saw the movie. And it kind of sucked.

3:41 PM  
Blogger KassyK said...

I liked Match Point. Although Scarlett was dull in it, Jonathan Rhys Meyers was great.

4:14 AM  

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