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Friday, January 19, 2007

Things That Are Awesome--The Travel Edition

In no particular order:
1. When a two-hour layover at the Charlotte-Douglas airport becomes a 5-hour-and-counting layover.
2. Being a vegetarian and having a choice of two dining establishments for an overdue lunch: Chili's and something called The Tacqueria.
3. The smell of the food coming out of Chili's and The Tacqueria.
4. The decision to check my small suitcase at National, just so I would only have to deal with my laptop while in transit. It wouldn't have been too much trouble, but I figured, "Why bother toting it around in two airports and two planes all afternoon?" So it seems like this flight will likely be canceled and I'm going to be spending the night at a hotel without my suitcase. Yeah, that decision was awesome.
5. The girl across from me on the cell phone describing in detail why she thinks Terry Schiavo was "murdered" because she was clearly coming around when they disconnected her from her feeding tube.
6. The girl across from me on the cell phone ending that conversation to describe how it was totally unfair that she didn't get a job at Sally's Beauty Supply because she wasn't peppy enough.
7. Just in general, the girl across from me on her cell phone. She's awesome.
8. Businessmen who know that yelling at the gate agent is the fastest way to get the plane to come.
9. Realizing that I'm going to have to eat dinner here, too, and that my two choices are Chili's and The Tacqueria.

PS-The first commenter who says, "But the Charlotte airport has those neat rocking chairs!"? Yeah, they're awesome.


Blogger WiB said...

10. The guy sitting next to you on the plane Monday night who explains that, no, it's not the 170mph headwind that's making the flight take so long, but rather that the airlines intentionally fly slower in order to save gas and lower their costs. Because naturally, the way for an airline to make more money is to purposefully make their customers late, so they get a bad reputation and people stop using them.

Beer is totally vegetarian, BB, and Chili's will serve you as much as you want. After a few of those, the rocking chairs really would be awesome.

I hope the rest of your trip is free of awesomeness.

2:10 AM  
Blogger Ashburnite said...

so I'm guessing you ate Chili's nachos & salsa for dinner.

2:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do I get any credit for asking about the rocking chairs when we spoke about three to four hours before you posted this? Because they totally are great.

I'll shut up now.

5:22 AM  
Blogger regs said...

Um, perhaps you should call your friend regs who works right by the freaking airport in Charlotte? Just a thought. She does after all have a spare bedroom, vegetarian friendly food and spare pj's.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Ash-Half a blackbean burger. Correction, a delcious blackbean burger. ;-)

Regs- Oh my god, that didn't even occur to me. When I'm in an airport I subconsciously consider it a hermitically sealed environment: no one gets in, no one gets out. I ended up getting out last night, but if the same chicanery ensues on the way back I'm on your doorstep!

1:54 PM  
Anonymous Daddy-O said...

You didn't happen to see "Viktor Navorski" there during your long lay over did you?

4:31 PM  
Anonymous Libba said...

11. That person in front of you with the distinctly overwhelming B.O. called "Old Man Smell," who forces you to inhale hand sanitizer fumes directly from the bottle as an alternative? On a 10-hour flight? Who puts his seat into full recline? He's AWESOME.

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

Terry Schiavo? Who talks about her anymore?

9:26 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Nobody Sweet. You hear me? NOBODY!

9:57 PM  
Blogger honeykbee said...

People down there are still talking about Terry Schiavo or did you fly down there in a time machine?

10:07 PM  
Blogger The Captain said...

Um...the obvious solution to your problems is to start eating meat. That was obvious from the second sentence. Three simple reasons:

1. You would have had no trouble eating at Chili's or Taquireta.

2. You would have had strong animal proteins running through your blood, and thus, would have had no trouble carrying your suitcase. Then you would have had clothes for the night.

3. The plane would have never been late. Knowing you were there, angry and impatient, ready to tear off someones arm and devour it like your Chili's All-American burger...they would have had no choice. The airlines...they don't mess around with tough son-of-a-bitch meat eaters. Then you wouldn't have had to deal with cell phone girl. Of course, if you ate meat, and the plane was still late, you could have eaten her.

10:26 PM  

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