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Monday, January 22, 2007

Oh, The Onion and The Politico Are Coming to the D.C. Media Scene? Yawn...Because So is JESUS!

I'm thinking there are a number of possibilities to explain this:

* Gavin and Dufour have lost perspective on the work they're doing over there.
* Some papers put your George Wills or your Richard Cohens on their editorial page to attract conservative readers. The Examiner says "Nertz to that," and throws the Prince of Peace on the front page. (Incidentally, this still makes them less annoying than the Washington Times.)
* New circulation strategy: You weren't planning on picking up our paper, huh? Well enjoy burning in hell.
* In an attempt to top WaPo scribe Laura Sessions Stepp's wingman story, The Examiner lands exclusive with The Original Wingman, Buddy Christ
* New motto: Jesus Saves...50 cents by reading The Examiner!


Blogger Virgle Kent said...

Now THATS a title for a post! I'm taking notes, holla

2:09 PM  
Blogger Jesus said...

You got that right, sister.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If anyone can save that town from itself, it's the Son of Man. Plus, since he turns water to wine, he should be welcomed with open arms to the next one of your parties, Bird.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best part? He's freakin FREE

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If a xeroxed picture slid into the front of the box can fool you, I'm going to have a lot of fun rigging fake headlines into your local WaPo box.

12:39 AM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

OH MY GOSH ANONYMOUS, THAT'S JUST A XEROXED PICTURE SLID IN THE FRONT OF THE BOX?! I HAD NO IDEA! OK, all other commenters, don't worry. Anonymous has helpfully pointed out that we're all stupid and that that's not really the front of The Examiner. Phew.

3:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon's sample WaPo headline: "The Real Newspaper Is Behind This Piece of Paper."

Non-stop laughter ensues.

5:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, SC, and then it would be the Times behind it...sweet. Fake but not fake headline.

Yes, BB, I assumed that as you stood two feet away from the machine that you knew what it was. Phew indeed.

7:12 AM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

General rule of comedy: if you have to explain the joke, it's not funny.

General rule of blogging: if you comment anonymously, you're held in fairly "meh" regard. (Only exception being the myriad members of the CIA, NSA, and the Pentavirate who enjoy reading the Bird and comment anonymously because they have to. Besides, those guys are hilarious.)

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm fairly sure the commenter is the Rev. Moon himself. He's the only one who would even joke to say that the Washington Times is the "real newspaper." It's the only logical solution.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Jesus said...

Stop this bickering or I'll condemn you all to Hades.

8:00 PM  

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