It's Why the Terrorists Hate Us Friday!

Item: Stress Eraser
Catalogue: Gaiam Living
Price: $299
The pitch: Monitors your body's pulse and breath to gain a clear picture of stress levels. But this remarkable device doesn't stop there: It shows you how to reduce stress by employing patented biofeedback methods. Simply place your index finger on the sensor and follow the simple graphics to quiet your mind and relax your body.

Driving through rural, eastern North Carolina one afternoon in 1999, I got lost and pulled up to a small building plunked at the edge of the tobacco and soybean fields that edge Route 118. It was a rec hall where a group of elderly folks inside were doing simple calisthenics. As a woman of about 85 with a little potbelly padded over to me I smiled when I saw her T-shirt: "I'm Too Blessed to Be Stressed." Similarly, my own grandmother used to express bafflement at people claiming they were "so stressed out" like some sort of national mantra. "What do people have to be 'stressed out' about these days?" she'd ask. Having lived through the Depression and several wars, she didn't accept mid-term exams or having to shuttle the kids directly from piano to ballet as suitable answers. On behalf of the kindly lady that afternoon in North Carolina and my late grandmother, I now ask: What in heaven's name does anybody have to be so stressed out about that they think purchasing a $299 mood ring is a good idea?