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Friday, October 06, 2006

It's "Why the Terrorists Hate Us Fridays"!

Item: Dance-on Piano
Catalogue: F.A.O. Schwarz
Cost: $250,000
The pitch: "Play 'Chopsticks' or any other tune while dancing over the 22-foot long keyboard as it lights up with each step. Then learn to dance like our professionals with a private one-hour session from Matt Williams, the FAO Schwarz choreographer."

Unless he's Tom Hanks circa 1988, there is no reason your child should be in possession of a toy that costs as much as the annual income of entire neighborhoods in Appalachia. Look, I'm generally of the mindset that if you're a bazillionare you can buy whatever the heck you want. Most of the stuff I pick on on Fridays isn't because of the cost, it's because it's just plain stupid. But the price point on this is so beyond the pale that it commits the greatest sin of all: it's tacky. To be clear though, I'm only talking about the piano itself here. Not the private, one-hour session with Williams. You can't put a price on that kind of razzle dazzle. Just think, some day little Preston or Alessandra might appear at Carnegie Hall and riverdance out 'Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.' And won't you be so proud?


Blogger I-66 said...

Yes, but with the proper training two people can pull off Für Elise on that thing.

I mean, who wouldn't want that?

1:09 PM  
Blogger WiB said...

I just want to know what the series of life strategy decisions looks like that culminates as the FAO Schwartz choreographer.

Aim high, kids. Keep those dreams alive.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

I-66- Besides terrorists? Nobody!

WiB- That cracked me up too! Like is there seriously some cadre of FAOS choreographers running around? I mean I've never seen one of them in the stores. Do they only do floor shows in Vegas?

3:45 PM  
Blogger WiB said...

I have this vision of a scene out of West Side Story: the FAOS Choreographers squaring off against the Dance Dance Revolution All-Stars.

If the photo is any indication, the FAO kids would get smoked.

Or perhaps more appropriately: served.

4:11 PM  
Blogger allan said...

wib: Apparently, the same kind that lands you in bankruptcy court:

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that the actual Matt Williams pictured in that photograph?!

3:20 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

Even I hate us after reading about that.

Plus I am honored to be linked to Brunch Bird -- the hot new blog on the streets!

1:06 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Alejandra- I know! Don't you feel like you just got a little razzle dust on you just from viewing his picture alone! By the way--saw your Date Lab in the mag this weekend. You looked fabulous! He was way out of his league.

Phil- Oh, the honor is all mine my friend. Just having you comment on here means my blog now smells of rich mahogany and has many leatherbound books. Metaphorically speaking.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

This is true.

And Old Spice & English Leather.

7:48 PM  

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