BREAKING: My Oinking at California Tortilla Should Have Been Sufficient!

Remember last month when I oinked at the sullen California Tortilla girl to get my free chips and queso, only to have her flatly insist that I had to make a jungle noise? Well I just got the following from a tipster:

The head of REDACTED for California Tortilla was in my office earlier today for a meeting and somehow the topic of "Animal Noise Day" came up. He was saying how it used to be that you had to make a jungle noise & a few months ago they changed it to simply "Animal Noise Day" because some people (get this) thought it was politically incorrect to limit it to Jungle noises and that it should be any animal. I guess it is somehow discriminating to dogs & cats that they are not included in this ploy for free chips & queso. So, of course I shared with him that his 7th & H St location is not in compliance because only a few weeks ago we were forced to make jungle noises and we even tried to make a dog noise [sic] and that just simply didn't cut it. If only we had known this new corporate animal/jungle noise policy we could have contested the cashier's power over us!!

Oh, indeed tipster, indeed. Were it not for this evening's stuffed social calendar I would be standing in front of that chick tonight at 5:01 p.m., arms crossed, oinking like Wilbur.