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Friday, September 08, 2006

OMG! How Will He Ever Decide Whom To Slander First?!

Just got what is quite possibly the greatest press release ever from someone on the George Allen campaign email list:
September 8, 2006
(703) 845-**** (office) (703) 350-**** (cell)

Allen to Attend Fairfax Ethnic Community Rally on Saturday
ARLINGTON, VA--Senator George Allen will be a featured speaker at the Fairfax County Republican Committee's 3rd Annual Ethnic Community Campaign Kick-Off Rally on Saturday morning at Edison High School. Congressmen Tom Davis and Frank Wolf will also attend the rally. Among those in attendance will be: Afghan Americans, African Americans, Bolivian Americans, Chinese Americans, Colombian Americans, Cuban Americans, Filipino Americans, Indian Americans, Iranian Americans, Korean Americans, Pakistani Americans, Peruvian Americans, Puerto Rican Americans, Salvadoran Americans, Taiwanese Americans and Vietnamese Americans.
Saturday evening, Senator Allen will head to NASCAR's Chevy Rock and Roll 400 in Richmond where he will address the crowd and drivers before the race.

Sweet Jesus, he's going to be like a kid in a candy store! Just think of all the furious prep work his team must be engaged in right now teaching him the various slurs for each of those ethnic groups. Right now, a sweaty intern is furiously Googling and yelping "Salvadora?!" Is that even a country?!"

Let's see, Allen lost his 18-point lead in the polls with "Macaca," so by my calculations...subtract, carry the one, multiply by the square root...he stands to lose 288 points with this little outing! And I just love how he's wrapping the evening up. Because after a long day surrounded by colored people, you certainly need the tonic of NASCAR fans and drivers to soothe your jangled nerves.


Blogger I-66 said...

"Where is Macaca? Right next to... Yapeepee!"

3:24 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Quite possibly his greatest line ever.

3:48 PM  
Blogger allan said...

Based on the press release, it is pretty clear he has already decided how to approach the insults: alphabetically ;)

2:14 PM  

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