I Wish I Was a Home Improvement Ninja

Toilet's broken. The handle fell off out of the blue the other day and then suddenly it would constantly run until I tapped that black floaty thing. Long story short: at least $310 to replace the fill valve. But the kindly plumber who came out this morning said that if "the Mr." was mechanically inclined (apparently, I didn't even warrant being included in this statement) we could buy one for about $5 and replace it ourselves. Oh, and that'll be $65 to come out and not do any work. But he was an affable chap, telling me about his upcoming motorcycle trip this weekend. And as I ushered him out the door and he was telling me about his most recent 3,000-mile ride across the South, he said the following: "Got crop dusted in Tennessee, but you know how that goes. Have a good one!"
Yes, if I had a dollar for every time I've been crop dusted while piloting my chopper across Tennessee....I'm starting to think I need to do more living. Not just living, but Living.