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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Brother, Can You Spare the Time to Zip It Up?

We're walking to work this morning and as we approach the corner of Connecticut and Calvert, a guy coming toward us takes a wide step in our direction and plants himself in front of my significant other. He didn't look homeless--neatly groomed and in a work shirt with his name on it--but I instantly thought, "He's going to ask for money and he's pretty aggressive about it." Because let's be honest, not many people step in front of you in this town unless they want you to give them money or "a few minutes to help the environment." So the guy leans in toward my significant other and quietly but firmly says in an elegant French accent, "Your zeeper man," and gives a dignified nod southward. Classic.

Epilogue, Or, How Life as a Blogger Changes Your Sense of Normal Conversation

We get off Metro at the other end of our commute and are strolling up K Street.
Me: "So do you mind if I blog about your crotch this morning?"
Him: (deep sigh) "No."


Blogger I-66 said...

Interesting. I can't remember the last time I told a guy his zipper was down. I mean, we're not supposed to be looking there anyway.

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

Hey I'd appreciate it. Once I realized I was walking around with my skirt unzipped halfway in front of one of my male coworkers and he said, 'Yeah I noticed it, but I didn't want to say anything to embarass you.' Umm...thanks?

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Libba said...

Yeah, I once led a group of about 12 male Japanese reporters through a large building with my skirt unzipped in the back. Finally the translator took pity on me and gave me the heads-up. But nothing beats being well into a breastmilk expression session in my office at my old job, and looking up to see that I'd neglected to close the blinds to the interior window. Hello.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Alejandra said...

Lol I've had so many conversations with my friends like that. Not about the zipper, but about the "can I blog about this" part.

You know your true friends when they sigh, shake their heads, but let you do it anyway...

4:19 PM  
Blogger WiB said...

This is hilarious. Seriously. I don't know what your S.O. looks like, but I'm pretty sure I can imagine the look on his face when you asked that question.


4:31 PM  
Blogger KassyK said...

HAHAHA I love it...esp since that is my hood. I've told people about their zipper before but never by planting myself firmly in front of them so they have no choice but to listen. :-)

11:45 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

I-66-- It's like the "face forward at the urinal" rule isn't it?

Sweet & Libba-- Oof. Awk-ward!

WiB--His first statement to me after it happened was, "Hey! If you were doing your womanly duties you wouldn't have let me out of the house like that this morning!" He was kidding...I think ;-)

Kassy-Yep, it's like full-contact Good Samaritanism!

1:01 AM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Yes! Precisely like the face forward rule! Pick a speck on the wall and stare at it! Don't speak to your fellow urinator! If there are 5 urinals in a restroom and there are men at urinals 2 and 5, you wait until one of them leaves so as to not encroach upon the 1 urinal buffer space -- unless there are separating walls which makes that rule moot.

...the last one is a tad extreme...

6:16 PM  
Blogger WiB said...

I-66 - Wait?? Who has time to wait?

That's what the sink is for.

4:14 AM  

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