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Saturday, August 19, 2006

Stop It. Right Now. Seriously.

Excuse me?

Oh, um, yeah, "Snakes on a Glass."

Yes, I see that you waggled your finger over your Red Bull and vodka when you said it.

Yeah, you sure did follow it with "Get these motherf*&$ing snakes off of my motherf#@&ing Red Bull and vodka."

Listen, can I tell you something?

It's just that that kind of stopped being funny.

Right, I realize the movie just came out this weekend.

No, you're totally right, it definitely was funny. Three weeks ago.

That girl over there laughed at it? Well, that's tricky because she's a staffer in Rick Santorum's office. See how she's got both of her hands up in the air and she's making that face and shaking it to "Stars are Blind" and spilling her appletini all over her tube top? Right, that's a dead giveaway. Not the best canary in the comedy coal mine.

Not following, huh? OK, let's try this, maybe it will help. Remember when you just sort of stopped saying "Schwing!" back in 1993? That was right about the same time you retired "You can't handle the truth!" too, because your friends weren't laughing at it much anymore, right? Yeah, well this is sort of the same thing, only I'm saving you, and them, a year.

Yes! Exactly like when you stopped yelling "Show me the money!" Now you've got it!

Hmm? Oh, you're going to Adams Mill next? No, no I don't think I'll catch up with you there.

(Work in Blogress has a funny take on this too, which inspired this post.)


Blogger WiB said...

This is very Bob Newhart, and I mean that as a compliment.

Canary reference = genius.

I'm afraid to ask whether this actually happened, but either way it's a great story. Although if it did happen, I will offer my sympathy about your ordeal. I'm sure it won't take more than two or three years of therapy for the nightmares to stop. That, or lots of bourbon. Do whichever you think is best.

11:32 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Sounds like somebody didn't get her phone call from Samuel L Jackson.

11:59 AM  
Anonymous rcr said...

I wish I knew how to quit you, snakes on a plane jokes.

7:02 PM  
Blogger C$ said...

very funny post!

although, i have to say, when someone says it to crack themselves up and not impress some hill staffer that's fine. Or maybe it's just a few bloggers that say it that crack me up ( specifically)

6:10 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

WiB- Oh, I take it as a compliment! I was just talking about the genius that is his manic depressive sports announcer the other day.

I-66- It should sound more like somebody didn't get her investment returned on. When those producers approached me at The Ivy I thought it sounded golden. "Snakes! On Planes! We can't lose!" Ugh. Last time I fall for that pitch.

RCR- You had me at 'I wish I knew how to quit you.' (I can do this indefinitely, like some sort of Spy v. Spy of cliched movie lines.)

C$- No doubt. The Work in Blogress post I refers to presents it as a sort of alternate "whaddayagonnado?"

2:10 PM  

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