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Thursday, August 17, 2006

An Open Letter to the Two Jackass Reporters at Caribou Coffee

Dear Sirs,

You don't know me, but I'm sure you'd recognize my chest if I posted a picture of it. Because when I walked into the Caribou at 15th and M late yesterday you stopped your conversation and leered at me like I had puppies, rainbows and ice cream sundaes floating around it.

Then, as I waited for my iced peppermint tea (one sugar), you proceeded to loudly discuss what you were working on. As a female, I'm accustomed to knowing when a nearby conversation is being amped up for my benefit. Your decision to take the volume up to 11 in an obvious attempt to appear like impressive men with big things afoot was great. Your decision to make no effort to discuss the savory lead you're working on without disguising the name of the convicted white collar criminal and the prominent politician who might have improperly intervened on his behalf, was also great. Your decision to let me know, by quacking about this right in front of me, that you presumed me to be a blithering ditz was incredibly complimentary.

My decision to saunter back to my office and call my significant other, who works at your rival publication, and let him know everything I'd just overheard, was gratifying.

Sincerely,
The Nice Rack

5 Comments:

Anonymous Dave said...

Nice!

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They were probably looking at the hot 18-year-old behind you.

2:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Soooo.....you gonna post that picture, or no? ;-)

6:49 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

1st Anon- Good point. He was pretty hot.

2nd Anon- No. I think embarassing the reporters verbally is sufficient. No need to post their pictures...hee hee

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a stupid cookie-cutter bitch, just like everyone else, wow, how unique, you're really special

10:57 PM  

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