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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Cat, You Are Now Free to Leave the Bag

What a lovely Sunday. Here's the rundown:

* Went to church.
* Had a well-balanced, nutritious lunch.
* Stopped off at the soup kitchen to sneak in a few hours of volunteering.
* Called all of my older relatives to chat.
* Had a well-balanced, nutritious dinner.
* Did not consume any alcohol, or engage in any other improper behavior.
* Went to bed around 9 p.m. Alone.

...Guess whose parents discovered her blog this weekend.

Yes, over salmon and beef medallions at Sam & Harry's Saturday night, the significant other dropped the bomb: "So, have you been reading her blog?" Had I quicker reflexes, he would have commuted to work on crutches this morning. While my parents were aware of its existence, they most assuredly were not reading it because I'd been keeping the name of it from them like Sudafed from a meth addict.

Maybe it was the $24-a-glass champagne (seriously, WTF?! $24?!), but on Saturday night, I finally caved. First though, I set some ground rules.
1. I don't want to hear any complaints about what's on it.
2. I don't want to ever have to explain anything on it.
My father, an artist, helpfully chimed in with, "Right, you don't want to have to explain your art." Which was an excellent point, but he was giving me way too much credit since his art is actually, well, art, and my art is making Snakes on a Plane jokes.

After dinner, they headed home and S.O. and I headed down to Leftbank. Halfway through my first drink I realized that at that very moment my parents were reading the phrases "no-pants dance," and "slut buttons," courtesy of their baby girl. Congratulating myself for having the foresight to set the ground rules, I tossed the drink back and ordered another.

UPDATE: Message arrived Sunday on voicemail from my mother saying she was admittedly biased, but loved the blog and that my father was howling with laughter in the background while reading it himself. I was surprised that the message didn't say something to the effect of: "Dear, we read the blog. We'd like to get back the $80,000 we spent getting you an English degree, and the family's good name." And as she helpfully pointed out, I can claim an additional age demographic now among my readership. Best. Parents. Ever.

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