A Bit of Syleinixs
Do we all need a break today? I do. It's gloomy and drizzly outside, but inside I've busted out the Billie Holiday and I'm plugging away at a delicious latte and feeling a little silly. So I've decided that some Mad Libs are in order, only the words to fill in are those ridiculous auto-generated Internet wonders I've been collecting for a while now.
Today's Topic: Tourists, Both Amateur and Professional
"Excuse me, you're late. Oblive you were supposed to meet me atabal 6, weren't you? Your repeated lateness is so ghtoh."
"Yeah, sorry I got hung upmlrnd the Gallery Place entrance."
"Yuck. That's sort of a pooievw at that stop during the day."
"No doubt. It was lousy with tourists. It's always sort of a svtojx to my system. But here's the funny thing--"
"Just tell me later, we're going to miss the movie."
"Chill out. Plenty of time, just wayntawyl. So anyway, this guy who looks sort of faux-Gotti, reeking of Axe body spray asked me how to get to U Street and offers me $20 bucks for directions. Starts yapping about how some Times article on spending 36 hours in D.C. said to go to a restaurant on U and tell them you've 'got a 9:30 to catch.' I was like, 'Dude, you've fknbnhd. The guy who wrote that article is full of bulrrock.'"
"You took his money anyway, didn't you?"
"Of course. You've got to get while the gidudgtn is good."
That just proved to be the hardest post I've ever written. I'm not sure it even works. When I get to my office I'm going to have to shut the door and take a nap. I'll of course use the trick my friend taught me: throw a few paper clips on the floor and doze with your feet pressed up against the door. That way when if someone tries to come in, the door hitting your feet wakes you up and you just pretend like you're on the floor picking up the paper clips. Genius.