When She Stops Sending Them, I'll Stop Making Fun of Them

This week's blast email from everyone's favorite 8th grader, I mean, um, deputy director of communications, has arrived in my inbox, and I couldn't be happier. Because this week it's not just her always "fun" opening graph that's winning me over, it's the fact that a House committee is now using cutesy titles to address matters like terrorism and gang violence.

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From: REDACTED
Subject: Can You Clear Me Now???

Returning from a break? Will this email bring back all the good memories of your vacation, sand, surf, and pie eating contests? No. Even I know my limitations. But I am clearing out my inbox now to receive the responses from those who worked last week, and my mere reference of the word 'vacation.'

The schedule has several important hearings this week. Below and attached is the schedule for the Committee.

How are you Thursday, July 13th at 9:30am to cover our full committee hearing entitled, "Can You Clear Me Now?: Weighing "Foreign Influence" Factors in Security Clearance Investigations."

And Friday, July 14th at 10am we have a full committee field hearing entitled, "MS-13 and Counting: Gang Activity in Northern Virginia" located in Fairfax, VA.

Please come up and say 'hi' at the hearings if I do not see you first,

REDACTED
Deputy Director of Communications
Rayburn Building
Washington, DC 20515